The Great Millennium Is At Hand. Redder Apples Grow On The Tree. A Saxophone Is In Ev'Ry Band. Brandy No Longer Taints Our Tea. Dimples Smile In The Red-Rouged Knee. The Dowagers Are No Longer Fat. Radio Now Makes Safe The Sea, And The Turk Has Bought Him A Derby Hat. Even Our Sauerkraut Now Is Canned. Verse Is A Dangsight More Than Free. A 'Highboy' Now Is The Old Dish Stand. Ev'Ry Flapper Has Her Night Key. Chopin Is Jazzed Into Melody. A Child Is A 'Kiddie' And Not A 'Brat.' Bosses And Miners At Last Agree, And The Turk Has Bought Him A Derby Hat. All Firewaters Are Bravely Banned. There Is A Ballot For Every She. The Hairpin Now Is A Contraband. A New York Mayor Gets Some Sympathy. My Dealer Brings Some Coal To Me. The Plumber Is An Aristocrat. In Miami All Millionaires May Be, And The Turk Has Bought Him A Derby Hat. Son, The Millennium Is At Hand! What Though Armenians Be Mashed Flat? The World Is Getting Just Perfectly Grand, For The Turk Has Bought Him A Derby Hat.