(By Waltyard Whipming) I A Song Of Mandalay! Allons, Camerados, Desperadoes, Amontillados! Hear My Recitative, My Romanza, My Spring Onion! Ii You Three-Striped Sergeants, You Corporals, Non-Commissioned Officers, And Men With One Or More Good-Conduct Badges, You Indifferent And Bad Characters, Am I Not Also One With You? And Will You Not Then Hear My Song? This For Prelude. Iii You, O Mandalay, I Sing! For I See The Pagoda, The Moulmein And Essentially Wotto Pagoda, And The Pagoda Is Above The Trees, But The Trees Are Below The Pagoda. Iv I See The Flying-Fish Sitting On The Branches, I Hear Them Sing, And They Fly And Mate And Build Their Nests In The Branches; I See A Dun-Coloured Aboriginal She-Female, Mongolian'E, Petite, Squat-Faced, And She Has A Cast In Her Sinister Optic And A Snub Nose But Her Heart Is True; And I Gaze Into Her Heart (Which Is True), And I Find That She Is Musing (As Indeed I Often Muse) On Me, Me Prononc', Me Imperturbe, Me Inconscionabilamente. V I See [A Page Or So Unavoidably Omitted For Lack Of Space, - Refer To Guide-Book] And ... The Wind, And The Palm-Trees Idly Swaying To And Fro In The Wind (Now To, Now Fro), And I Hear The Bells Of A Temple, And I Know That They Are Singing, And What It Is That They Would Say. Vi What Is It That They Would Say Do You Ask Me? Vii How Shall I Tell You, How Shall I Make You Understand? For I Know That You Do Not Love Me, You Do Not Comprehend Me, You Say That This Sort Of Thing Does You Harm; But I Will Even Now Do My Darndest (As Indeed I Always Do More Or Less), And If You Do Not Like It, Waal, Soldados? Viii Behold, I Will Write It As A Song And Put It In Italics, So That Even You Will Know That It Is A Song; So Listen, Listen, Camerados! For I Am About To Spout And My Song Shall Be Masculine And Virile. A Bas Your Metre, ' La Lanterne Your Rhyme, Conspuez Your Punctuation, I Say Pooh-Pooh!