I Reside At Table Mountain, And My Name Is Truthful James; I Am Not Up To Small Deceit Or Any Sinful Games; And I'll Tell In Simple Language What I Know About The Row That Broke Up Our Society Upon The Stanislow. But First I Would Remark, That It Is Not A Proper Plan For Any Scientific Gent To Whale His Fellow-Man, And, If A Member Don't Agree With His Peculiar Whim, To Lay For That Same Member For To 'Put A Head' On Him. Now Nothing Could Be Finer Or More Beautiful To See Than The First Six Months' Proceedings Of That Same Society, Till Brown Of Calaveras Brought A Lot Of Fossil Bones That He Found Within A Tunnel Near The Tenement Of Jones. Then Brown He Read A Paper, And He Reconstructed There, From Those Same Bones, An Animal That Was Extremely Rare; And Jones Then Asked The Chair For A Suspension Of The Rules, Till He Could Prove That Those Same Bones Was One Of His Lost Mules. Then Brown He Smiled A Bitter Smile, And Said He Was At Fault, It Seemed He Had Been Trespassing On Jones'S Family Vault; He Was A Most Sarcastic Man, This Quiet Mr. Brown, And On Several Occasions He Had Cleaned Out The Town. Now I Hold It Is Not Decent For A Scientific Gent To Say Another Is An Ass, At Least, To All Intent; Nor Should The Individual Who Happens To Be Meant Reply By Heaving Rocks At Him, To Any Great Extent. Then Abner Dean Of Angel'S Raised A Point Of Order, When A Chunk Of Old Red Sandstone Took Him In The Abdomen, And He Smiled A Kind Of Sickly Smile, And Curled Up On The Floor, And The Subsequent Proceedings Interested Him No More. For, In Less Time Than I Write It, Every Member Did Engage In A Warfare With The Remnants Of A Palaeozoic Age; And The Way They Heaved Those Fossils In Their Anger Was A Sin, Till The Skull Of An Old Mammoth Caved The Head Of Thompson In. And This Is All I Have To Say Of These Improper Games, For I Live At Table Mountain, And My Name Is Truthful James; And I've Told In Simple Language What I Know About The Row That Broke Up Our Society Upon The Stanislow.