Did Ever Problem Thus Perplex, Or More Employ The Female Sex? So Sweet A Passion Who Would Think, Jove Ever Form'D To Make A Stink? The Ladies Vow And Swear, They'll Try, Whether It Be A Truth Or Lie. Love'S Fire, It Seems, Like Inward Heat, Works In My Lord By Stool And Sweat, Which Brings A Stink From Every Pore, And From Behind And From Before; Yet What Is Wonderful To Tell It, None But The Favourite Nymph Can Smell It. But Now, To Solve The Natural Cause By Sober Philosophic Laws; Whether All Passions, When In Ferment, Work Out As Anger Does In Vermin; So, When A Weasel You Torment, You Find His Passion By His Scent. We Read Of Kings, Who, In A Fright, Though On A Throne, Would Fall To Sh - . Beside All This, Deep Scholars Know, That The Main String Of Cupid'S Bow, Once On A Time Was An A - Gut; Now To A Nobler Office Put, By Favour Or Desert Preferr'D From Giving Passage To A T - ; But Still, Though Fix'D Among The Stars, Does Sympathize With Human A - . Thus, When You Feel A Hard-Bound Breech, Conclude Love'S Bow-String At Full Stretch, Till The Kind Looseness Comes, And Then, Conclude The Bow Relax'D Again. And Now, The Ladies All Are Bent, To Try The Great Experiment, Ambitious Of A Regent'S Heart, Spread All Their Charms To Catch A F - Watching The First Unsavoury Wind, Some Ply Before, And Some Behind. My Lord, On Fire Amid The Dames, F - Ts Like A Laurel In The Flames. The Fair Approach The Speaking Part, To Try The Back-Way To His Heart. For, As When We A Gun Discharge, Although The Bore Be None So Large, Before The Flame From Muzzle Burst, Just At The Breech It Flashes First; So From My Lord His Passion Broke, He F - D First And Then He Spoke. The Ladies Vanish In The Smother, To Confer Notes With One Another; And Now They All Agreed To Name Whom Each One Thought The Happy Dame. Quoth Neal, Whate'Er The Rest May Think, I'm Sure 'Twas I That Smelt The Stink. You Smell The Stink! By G - D, You Lie, Quoth Ross, For I'll Be Sworn 'Twas I. Ladies, Quoth Levens, Pray Forbear; Let'S Not Fall Out; We All Had Share; And, By The Most I Can Discover, My Lord'S A Universal Lover.