Perhaps Already You May Know Sir Blennerhasset Portico? A Captain In The Navy, He - A Baronet And K.C.B. You Do? I Thought So! It Was That Captain'S Favourite Whim (A Notion Not Confined To Him) That Rodney Was The Greatest Tar Who Ever Wielded Capstan-Bar. He Had Been Taught So. "Benbow! Cornwallis! Hood! Belay! Compared With Rodney" He Would Say - "No Other Tar Is Worth A Rap! The Great Lord Rodney Was The Chap The French To Polish! "Though, Mind You, I Respect Lord Hood; Cornwallis, Too, Was Rather Good; Benbow Could Enemies Repel, Lord Nelson, Too, Was Pretty Well - That Is, Tol-Lol-Ish!" Sir Blennerhasset Spent His Days In Learning Rodney'S Little Ways, And Closely Imitated, Too, His Mode Of Talking To His Crew - His Port And Paces. An Ancient Tar He Tried To Catch Who'D Served In Rodney'S Famous Batch; But Since His Time Long Years Have Fled, And Rodney'S Tars Are Mostly Dead: Eheu Fugaces! But After Searching Near And Far, At Last He Found An Ancient Tar Who Served With Rodney And His Crew Against The French In 'Eighty-Two, (That Gained The Peerage). He Gave Him Fifty Pounds A Year, His Rum, His Baccy, And His Beer; And Had A Comfortable Den Rigged Up In What, By Merchantmen, Is Called The Steerage. "Now, Jasper" 'T Was That Sailor'S Name - "Don't Fear That You'll Incur My Blame By Saying, When It Seems To You, That There Is Anything I Do That Rodney Wouldn't." The Ancient Sailor Turned His Quid, Prepared To Do As He Was Bid: "Ay, Ay, Yer Honour; To Begin, You've Done Away With 'Swifting In' - Well, Sir, You Shouldn't! "Upon Your Spars I See You've Clapped Peak Halliard Blocks, All Iron-Capped. I Would Not Christen That A Crime, But 'Twas Not Done In Rodney'S Time. It Looks Half-Witted! Upon Your Maintop-Stay, I See, You Always Clap A Selvagee! Your Stays, I See, Are Equalized - No Vessel, Such As Rodney Prized, Would Thus Be Fitted! "And Rodney, Honoured Sir, Would Grin To See You Turning Deadeyes In, Not Up, As In The Ancient Way, But Downwards, Like A Cutter'S Stay - You Didn't Oughter; Besides, In Seizing Shrouds On Board, Breast Backstays You Have Quite Ignored; Great Rodney Kept Unto The Last Breast Backstays On Topgallant Mast - They Make It Tauter." Sir Blennerhasset "Swifted In," Turned Deadeyes Up, And Lent A Fin To Strip (As Told By Jasper Knox) The Iron Capping From His Blocks, Where There Was Any. Sir Blennerhasset Does Away, With Selvagees From Maintop-Stay; And Though It Makes His Sailors Stare, He Rigs Breast Backstays Everywhere - In Fact, Too Many. One Morning, When The Saucy Craft Lay Calmed, Old Jasper Toddled Aft. "My Mind Misgives Me, Sir, That We Were Wrong About That Selvagee - I Should Restore It." "Good," Said The Captain, And That Day Restored It To The Maintop-Stay. Well-Practised Sailors Often Make A Much More Serious Mistake, And Then Ignore It. Next Day Old Jasper Came Once More: "I Think, Sir, I Was Right Before." Well, Up The Mast The Sailors Skipped, The Selvagee Was Soon Unshipped, And All Were Merry. Again A Day, And Jasper Came: "I P'R'Aps Deserve Your Honour'S Blame, I Can't Make Up My Mind," Said He, "About That Cursed Selvagee - It's Foolish Very. "On Monday Night I Could Have Sworn That Maintop-Stay It Should Adorn, On Tuesday Morning I Could Swear That Selvagee Should Not Be There. The Knot'S A Rasper!" "Oh, You Be Hanged," Said Captain P., "Here, Go Ashore At Caribbee. Get Out Good Bye Shove Off All Right!" Old Jasper Soon Was Out Of Sight - Farewell, Old Jasper!