I Am The Very Pattern Of A Modern Major-Gineral. I've Information Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral; I Know The Kings Of England, And I Quote The Fights Historical, From Marathon To Waterloo, In Order Categorical; I'm Very Well Acquainted Too With Matters Mathematical, I Understand Equations, Both The Simple And Quadratical, About Binomial Theorem I'm Teeming With A Lot O' News, With Many Cheerful Facts About The Square Of The Hypotenuse. I'm Very Good At Integral And Differential Calculus, I Know The Scientific Names Of Beings Animalculous, In Short In Matters Vegetable, Animal And Mineral, I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-Gineral. I Know Our Mythic History King Arthur'S And Sir Caradoc'S, I Answer Hard Acrostics, I've A Pretty Taste For Paradox, I Quote In Elegiacs All The Crimes Of Heliogabalus, In Conies I Can Floor Peculiarities Parabolous. I Can Tell Undoubted Raphaels From Gerard Dows And Zoffanies, I Know The Croaking Chorus From The "Frogs" Of Aristophanes, Then I Can Hum A Fugue Of Which I've Heard The Music'S Din Afore, And Whistle All The Airs From That Confounded Nonsense "Pinafore." Then I Can Write A Washing Bill In Babylonic Cuneiform, And Tell You Every Detail Of Caractacus'S Uniform. In Short In Matters Vegetable, Animal And Mineral, I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-Gineral. In Fact When I Know What Is Meant By "Mamelon" And "Ravelin," When I Can Tell At Sight A Chassepot Rifle From A Javelin, When Such Affairs As Sorties And Surprises I'm More Wary At, And When I Know Precisely What Is Meant By Commissariat, When I Have Learn What Progress Has Been Made In Modern Gunnery, When I Know More Of Tactics Than A Novice In A Nunnery, In Short When I've A Smattering Of Elementary Strategy, You'll Say A Better Major-General Has Never Sat A Gee For My Military Knowledge, Though I'm Plucky And Adventury, Has Only Been Brought Down To The Beginning Of The Century, But Still In Learning Vegetable, Animal And Mineral, I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-Gineral.