I Wooed Her With A Steeplechase, I Won Her With A Fall, I Made Her Heartstrings Quiver On The Flat When The Pony Missed His Take-Off, And We Crashed Into The Wall; Well, She Simply Had To Have Me After That! It Awoke A Thrill Of Int'rest When They Pulled Me Out For Dead From Beneath The Shattered Ruins Of A Horse; And Although She Looked Indifferent When I Landed, On My Head, In The Water, It Appealed To Her, Of Course! When I Won The Flappers' Flatrace It Was "All Sir Garneo", For She Praised The Way I Made My Final Run. And She Thought The Riding Won It, For How Could The Poor Girl Know That A Monkey Could Have Ridden It And Won! Then They "Weighed Me In" A Winner, It's Not Often That Occurs! So I Didn't Let My Golden Chances Slip, For I Showed Her All The Blood-Marks Where I Jabbed Him With The Spurs, And The Whip-Strokes Where I Hit Him With The Whip. Then I Asked Her If She Loved Me, And She Seemed Inclined To Shirk For A Moment So I Took Her By The Head (So To Speak) And Rushed Her At It; And She Seemed To Like The Work When She Kissed Me, Though She Blushed A Rosy Red. SHe's A Mouth As Soft As Velvet, And She Plenty Has Of Heart, I Could Worship Every Little Step She Takes; And The Saddling-Bell Is Ringing, So We're Going To The Start, Certain Winners Of The Matrimonial Stakes!