Its Eyes Are Gray; Its Hair Is Either Brown Or Black; And, Strange To Say, Its Dresses Button Down The Back! It Wears A Plume That Loves To Frisk Around My Ear. It Crowds The Room With Cushions In A Mound And Queer Old Rugs And Lamps In Corners A La Turque And Things. It Steals My Stamps, And When I Want To Work It Sings! It Rides And Skates, But Then It Comes And Fills My Walls With Plaques And Plates And Keeps Me Paying Bills And Calls. It's Firm; And If I Should My Many Woes Deplore, 'Twould Only Sniff And Perk Its Little Nose Some More. It's Bright, Though Small; Its Name, You May Have Guessed, Is "Wife." But, After All, It Gives A Wondrous Zest To Life!