When Legislators Keep The Law, When Banks Dispense With Bolts And Looks, When Berries - Whortle, Rasp, And Straw - Grow Bigger Downwards Through The Box, - When He That Selleth House Or Land Shows Leak In Roof Or Flaw In Right, - When Haberdashers Choose The Stand Whose Window Hath The Broadest Light, - When Preachers Tell Us All They Think, And Party Leaders All They Mean, - When What We Pay For, That We Drink, From Real Grape And Coffee-Bean, - When Lawyers Take What They Would Give, And Doctors Give What They Would Take, - When City Fathers Eat To Live, Save When They Fast For Conscience' Sake, - When One That Hath A Horse On Sale Shall Bring His Merit To The Proof, Without A Lie For Every Nail That Holds The Iron On The Hoof, - When In The Usual Place For Rips Our Gloves Are Stitched With Special Care, And Guarded Well The Whalebone Tips Where First Umbrellas Need Repair, - When Cuba'S Weeds Have Quite Forgot The Power Of Suction To Resist, And Claret-Bottles Harbor Not Such Dimples As Would Hold Your Fist, - When Publishers No Longer Steal, And Pay For What They Stole Before, - When The First Locomotive'S Wheel Rolls Through The Hoosac Tunnel'S Bore; - Till Then Let Cumming Blaze Away, And Miller'S Saints Blow Up The Globe; But When You See That Blessed Day, Then Order Your Ascension Robe.