Oversight, Some Slip I' The Taking Vengeance, Not For Vengeance' Self. A Good Thing Done Unhandsomely Turns Ill; And Never Yet Lacked Ill The Law'S Rebuke. For Pregnant Instance, Let Us Contemplate The Luck Of Leonardus, See At Large Of Sicily'S Decisions Sixty-First. This Leonard Finds His Wife Is False: What Then? He Makes Her Own Son Snare Her, And Entice Out Of The Town-Walls To A Private Walk, Wherein He Slays Her With Commodity. They Find Her Body Half-Devoured By Dogs: Leonard Is Tried, Convicted, Punished, Sent To Labour In The Galleys Seven Years Long: Why? For The Murder? Nay, But For The Mode! Malus Modus Occidendi, Ruled The Court, An Ugly Mode Of Killing, Nothing More! Another Fructuous Sample, See 'De Re 'Criminali,' In Matth'Us' Divine Piece. Another Husband, In No Better Plight, Simulates Absence, Thereby Tempts The Wife; On Whom He Falls, Out Of Sly Ambuscade, Backed By A Brother Of His, And Both Of Them Armed To The Teeth With Arms That Law Had Blamed. Nimis Dolose, Overwilily, Fuisse Operatum, Was It Worked, Pronounced The Law: Had All Been Fairly Done Law Had Not Found Him Worthy, As She Did, Of Four Years' Exile. Why Cite More? Enough Is Good As A Feast (Unless A Birthday-Feast For One'S Cinuccio: So, We'll Finish Here) My Lords, We Rather Need Defend Ourselves Inasmuch As For A Twinkling Of An Eye We Hesitatingly Appealed To Law, Rather Than Deny That, On Mature Advice, We Blushingly Bethought Us, Bade Revenge Back To The Simple Proper Private Way Of Decent Self-Dealt Gentlemanly Death. Judges, There Is The Law, And This Beside, The Testimony! Look To It! Pause And Breathe! So Far Is Only Too Plain; We Must Watch, Bottini Will Scarce Hazard An Attack Here: Let'S Anticipate The Fellow'S Play, And Guard The Weaker Places Warily Ask, What If Considerations Of A Sort, Reasons Of A Kind, Arise From Out The Strange Peculiar Unforseen New Circumstance Of This Our (Candour Owns) Abnormal Act, To Bar The Right Of Us Revenging So? 'Impunity Were Otherwise Your Meed: 'Go Slay Your Wife And Welcome,' May Be Urged, 'But Why The Innocent Old Couple Slay, 'Pietro, Violante? You May Do Enough, 'Not Too Much, Not Exceed The Golden Mean: 'Neither Brute-Beast Nor Pagan, Gentile, Jew, 'Nor Christian, No Nor Votarist Of The Mode, 'Were Free At All To Push Revenge So Far!' No, Indeed? Why, Thou Very Sciolist! The Actual Wrong, Pompilia Seemed To Do, Was Virtual Wrong Done By The Parents Here Imposing Her Upon Us As Their Child Themselves Allow: Then, Her Fault Was Their Fault, Her Punishment Be Theirs Accordingly! But Wait A Little, Sneak Not Off So Soon! Was This Cheat Solely Harm To Guido, Pray? The Precious Couple You Call Innocent, Why, They Were Felons That Law Failed To Clutch, Qui Ut Fraudarent, Who That They Might Rob, Legitime Vocatos, Folks Law Called, Ad Fidei Commissum, True Heirs To The Trust, Partum Supposuerunt, Feigned This Birth, Immemores Reos Factos Esse, Blind To The Fact That, Guilty, They Incurred Thereby, Ultimi Supplicii, Hanging Or Aught Worse. Do You Blame Us That We Turn Law'S Instruments Not Mere Self-Seekers, Mind The Public Weal, Nor Make The Private Good Our Sole Concern? That Having Shall I Say Secured A Thief, Not Simply We Recover From His Pouch The Stolen Article Our Property, But Also Pounce Upon Our Neighbour'S Purse We Opportunely Find Reposing There, And Do Him Justice While We Right Ourselves? He Owes Us, For Our Part, A Drubbing Say, But Owes Our Neighbour Just A Dance I' The Air Under The Gallows: So We Throttle Him. The Neighbour'S Law, The Couple Are The Thief, We Are The Over-Ready To Help Law Zeal Of Her House Hath Eaten Us Up: For Which, Can It Be, Law Intends To Eat Up Us, Crudum Priamum, Devour Poor Priam Raw, ('Twas Jupiter'S Own Joke) With Babes To Boot, Priamique Pisinnos, In Homeric Phrase? Shame! And So Ends The Period Prettily. But Even, Prove The Pair Not Culpable, Free As Unborn Babe From Connivance At, Participation In, Their Daughter'S Fault: Ours The Mistake. Is That A Rare Event? Non Semel, It Is Anything But Rare, In Contingentia Facti, That By Chance, Impunes Evaserunt, Go Scot-Free, Qui, Such Well-Meaning People As Ourselves, Justo Dolore Moti, Who Aggrieved With Cause, Apposuerunt Manus, Lay Rough Hands, In Innocentes, On Wrong Heads. Cite We An Illustrative Case In Point: Mulier Smirnea Qu'Dam, Good My Lords, A Gentlewoman Lived In Smyrna Once, Virum Et Filium Ex Eo Conceptum, Who Both Husband And Her Son Begot By Him, Killed, Interfecerat, Ex Quo, Because, Vir Filium Suum Perdiderat, Her Spouse Had Been Beforehand With Her, Killed Her Son, Matrimonii Primi, Of A Previous Bed. Deinde Accusata, Then Accused, Apud Dolabellam, Before Him That Sat Proconsul, Nec Duabus C'Dibus Comtaminatam Liberare, Nor To Liberate A Woman Doubly-Dyed With Murder, Voluit, Made He Up His Mind, Nec Condemnare, Nor To Doom To Death, Justo Dolore Impulsam, One Impelled By Just Grief, Sed Remisit, But Sent Her Up Ad Areopagum, To The Hill Of Mars, Sapientissimorum Judicum C'Tum, To That Assembly Of The Sage Paralleled Only By My Judges Here; Ubi, Cognito De Causa, Where, The Cause Well Weighed, Responsum Est, They Gave Reply, Ut Ipsa Et Accusator, That Both Sides O' The Suit, Redirent, Should Come Back Again, Post Centum Annos, After A Hundred Years, For Judgment; Et Sic, By Which Sage Decree, Duplici Parricidio Rea, One Convicted Of A Double Parricide, Quamvis Etiam Innocentem, Though In Truth Out Of The Pair, One Innocent At Least She, Occidisset, Plainly Had Put To Death, Undequaque, Yet She Altogether 'Scaped, Evasit Impunis. See The Case At Length In Valerius, Fittingly Styled Maximus, That Eighth Book Of His Memorable Facts. Nor Cyriacus Cites Beside The Mark: Similiter Uxor Qu' Mandaverat, Just So, A Lady Who Had Taken Care, Homicidium Viri, That Her Lord Be Killed, Ex Denegatione Debiti, For Denegation Of A Certain Debt, Matrimonialis, He Was Loth To Pay, Fuit Pecuniaria Mulcta, Was Amerced In A Pecuniary Mulct, Punita, Et Ad P'Nam, And To Pains, Temporalem, For A Certain Space Of Time, In Monasterio, In A Convent. Ay, In Monasterio! How He Manages In With The Ablative, The Accusative! I Had Hoped To Have Hitched The Villain Into Verse For A Gift, This Very Day, A Complete List O' The Prepositions Each With Proper Case, Telling A Story, Long Was In My Head. What Prepositions Take The Accusative? Ad To Or At Who Saw The Cat? Down To Ob, For, Because Of, Keep Her Claws Off! Ah, Law In A Man Takes The Whole Liberty! The Muse Is Fettered, Just As Ovid Found! And Now, Sea Widens And The Coast Is Clear. What Of The Dubious Act You Bade Excuse? Surely Things Brighten, Brighten, Till At Length Remains So Far From Act That Needs Defence Apology To Make For Act Delayed One Minute, Let Alone Eight Mortal Months Of Hesitation! 'Why Procrastinate?' (Out With It My Bottinius, Ease Thyself!) 'Right, Promptly Done, Is Twice Right: Right Delayed 'Turns Wrong. We Grant You Should Have Killed Your Wife, 'But On The Moment, At The Meeting Her 'In Company With The Priest: Then Did The Tongue 'O' The Brazen Head Give Licence, 'Time Is Now!' 'You Make Your Mind Up: 'Time Is Past' It Peals. 'Friend, You Are Competent To Mastery 'O' The Passions That Confessedly Explain 'An Outbreak, Yet Allow An Interval, 'And Then Break Out As If Time'S Clock Still Clanged. 'You Have Forfeited Your Chance, And Flat You Fall 'Into The Commonplace Category 'Of Men Bound To Go Softly All Their Days, 'Obeying Law.' Now, Which Way Make Response? What Was The Answer Guido Gave, Himself? That So To Argue Came Of Ignorance How Honour Bears A Wound: 'For, Wound,' Said He, 'My Body, And The Smart Is Worst At First: 'While, Wound My Soul Where Honour Sits And Rules, 'Longer The Sufferance, Stronger Grows The Pain, ''Tis Ex Incontinenti, Fresh As First.' But Try Another Tack, Calm Common Sense By Way Of Contrast: As Too True, My Lords! We Did Demur, Awhile Did Hesitate: Yet Husband Sure Should Let A Scruple Speak Ere He Slay Wife, For His Own Safety, Lords! Carpers Abound In This Misjudging World. Moreover, There'S A Nicety In Law That Seems To Justify Them Should They Carp: Suppose The Source Of Injury A Son, Father May Slay Such Son Yet Run No Risk: Why Graced With Such A Privilege? Because A Father So Incensed With His Own Child, Or Must Have Reason, Or Believe He Has: Quia Semper, Seeing That In Such Event, Presumitur, The Law Is Bound Suppose, Quod Capiat Pater, That The Sire Must Take, Bonum Consilium Pro Filio, The Best Course As To What Befits His Boy, Through Instinct, Ex Instinctu, Of Mere Love, Amoris, And, Paterni, Fatherhood; Quam Confidentiam, Which Confidence, Non Habet, Law Declines To Entertain, De Viro, Of The Husband: Where Has He An Instinct That Compels Him Love His Wife? Rather Is He Presumably Her Foe: So, Let Him Ponder Long In This Bad World Ere Do The Simplest Act Of Justice. But Again And Here We Brush Bottini'S Breast Object You, 'See The Danger Of Delay! 'Suppose A Man Murdered My Friend Last Month: 'Had I Come Up And Killed Him For His Pains 'In Rage, I Had Done Right, Allows The Law: 'I Meet Him Now And Kill Him In Cold Blood, 'I Do Wrong, Equally Allows The Law: 'Wherein Do Actions Differ, Yours And Mine?' In Plenitudine Intellectus Es? Hast Thy Wits, Fisc? To Take Such Slayer'S Life, Returns It Life To Thy Slain Friend At All? Had He Stolen Ring Instead Of Stabbing Friend, To-Day, To-Morrow Or Next Century, Meeting The Thief, Thy Ring Upon His Thumb, Thou Justifiably Hadst Wrung It Thence: So, Couldst Thou Wrench Thy Friend'S Life Back Again, Though Prisoned In The Bosom Of His Foe, Why, Law Would Look Complacent On Thy Rush. Our Case Is, That The Thing We Lost, We Found: The Honour, We Were Robbed Of Eight Months Since, Being Recoverable At Any Day By Death Of The Delinquent. Go Thy Ways! Ere Thou Hast Learned Law, Will Be Much To Do, As Said The Rustic While He Shod The Goose. Nay, If You Urge Me, Interval Was None! From The Inn To The Villa Blank Or Else A Bar Of Adverse And Contrarious Incident Solid Between Us And Our Just Revenge! What With The Priest Who Flourishes His Blade, The Wife Who Like A Fury Flings At Us, The Crowd And Then The Capture, The Appeal To Rome, The Journey There, The Journey Thence, The Shelter At The House Of Convertites, The Visits To The Villa, And So Forth, Where Was One Minute Left Us All This While To Put In Execution That Revenge We Planned O' The Instant? As It Were, Plumped Down A Round Sound Egg, O' The Spot, Some Eight Months Since, Rome, More Propitious Than Our Nest, Should Hatch! Object Not, 'You Reached Rome On Christmas-Eve, 'And, Despite Liberty To Act At Once, 'Waited A Week Indecorous Delay!' Hath So The Molinism-Canker, Lords, Eaten To The Bone? Is No Religion Left? No Care For Aught Held Holy By The Church? What, Would You Have Us Skip And Miss Those Feasts O' The Natal Time, Must We Go Prosecute Secular Business On A Sacred Day? Should Not The Merest Charity Expect, Setting Our Poor Concerns Aside For Once, We Hurried To The Song Matutinal I' The Sistine, And Pressed Forward For The Mass The Cardinal That'S Camerlengo Chaunts, Then Rushed On To The Blessing Of The Hat And Rapier, Which The Pope Sends To What Prince Has Done Most Detriment To The Infidel And Thereby Whet Our Courage If 'Twere Blunt? Meantime, Allow We Kept The House A Week, Suppose Not We Were Idle In Our Mew: Picture Count Guido Raging Here And There ''Money?' I Need None 'Friends?' The Word Is Null. 'Match Me The White Was On That Shield Of Mine 'Borne At' . . . Wherever Might Be Shield To Bear; 'I See My Grandsire, He Who Fought So Well 'At' . . . Here Find Out And Put In Time And Place Of What Might Be A Fight His Grandsire Fought: 'I See This I See That ' See To It All, Or I Shall Scarce See Lamb'S Fry In An Hour! Nod To The Uncle, As I Bid Advance The Smoking Dish, 'This, For Your Tender Teeth! 'Behoves Us Care A Little For Our Kin 'You, Sir, Who Care So Much For Cousinship 'As Come To Your Poor Loving Nephew'S Feast!' He Has The Reversion Of A Long Lease Yet Land To Bequeath! He Loves Lamb'S Fry, I Know! Here Fall To Be Considered Those Same Six Qualities; What Bottini Needs Must Call So Many Aggravations Of Our Crime, Parasite-Growth Upon Mere Murder'S Back. We Summarily Might Dispose Of Such By Some Off-Hand And Jaunty Fling, Some Skit 'So, Since There'S Proved No Crime To Aggravate, 'A Fico For Your Aggravations, Fisc!' No, Handle Mischief Rather, Play With Spells Were Meant To Raise A Spirit, And Laugh The While We Show That Did He Rise We Are His Match! Therefore, First Aggravation: We Made Up Over And Above Our Simple Murdering Selves A Regular Assemblage Of Armed Men, Coadunatio Armatorum, Ay, Unluckily It Was The Very Judge Who Sits In Judgment On Our Cause To-Day That Passed The Law As Governor Of Rome: 'Four Men Armed,' Though For Lawful Purpose, Mark! Much More For An Acknowledged Crime, 'Shall Die.' We Five Were Armed To The Teeth, Meant Murder Too? Why, That'S The Very Point That Saves Us, Fisc! Let Me Instruct You. Crime Nor Done Nor Meant, You Punish Still Who Arm And Congregate: For Why Have Used Bad Means To A Good End? Crime Being Meant Not Done, You Punish Still The Means To Crime, You Haply Pounce Upon, Though Circumstance Have Baulked You Of Their End: But Crime Not Only Compassed But Complete, Meant And Done Too? Why, Since You Have The End, Be That Your Sole Concern, Nor Mind Those Means No Longer To The Purpose! Murdered We? ( Which, That Our Luck Was In The Present Case, Quod Contigisse In Pr'Senti Casu, Is Palpable, Manibus Palpatum Est ) Make Murder Out Against Us, Nothing Less! Of Many Crimes Committed With A View To One Main Crime, You Overlook The Less, Intent Upon The Large. Suppose A Man Having In View Commission Of A Theft, Climb The Town-Wall: 'Tis For The Theft He Hangs, Suppose You Can Convict Him Of Such Theft, Remitted Whipping Due To Who Climbs Wall For Bravery Or Wantonness Alone, Just To Dislodge A Daw'S Nest And No More. So I Interpret You The Manly Mind Of Him The Judge Shall Judge Both You And Me, O' The Governor, Who, Being No Babe, My Fisc, Cannot Have Blundered On Ineptitude! Were Specially Of Such Forbidden Sort Through Shape Or Length Or Breadth, As, Prompt, Law Plucks From Single Hand Of Solitary Man, And Makes Him Pay The Carriage With His Life: Delatio Armorum, Arms Against The Rule, Contra Formam Constitutionis, Of Pope Alexander'S Blessed Memory. Such Are The Poignard With The Double Prong, Horn-Like, When Tines Make Bold The Antlered Buck, And All Of Brittle Glass For Man To Stab And Break Off Short And So Let Fragment Stick Fast In The Flesh To Baffle Surgery: And Such The Genoese Blade With Hooks At Edge That Did Us Service At The Villa Here. Sed Parcat Mihi Tam Eximius Vir, But, Let So Rare A Personage Forgive, Fisc, Thy Objection Is A Foppery! Thy Charge Runs, That We Killed Three Innocents: Killed, Dost See? Then, If Killed, What Matter How? By Stick Or Stone, By Sword Or Dagger, Tool Long Or Tool Short, Round Or Triangular Poor Folks, They Find Small Comfort In A Choice! Means To An End, Means To An End, My Fisc! Nature Cries Out 'Take The First Arms You Find!' Furor Ministrat Arma: Where'S A Stone? Unde M' Lapidem, Where Darts For Me? Unde Sagittas? But Subdue The Bard And Rationalise A Little: Eight Months Since, Had We, Or Had We Not, Incurred Your Blame For Letting 'Scape Unpunished This Bad Pair? I Think I Proved That In Last Paragraph! Why Did We So? Because Our Courage Failed. Wherefore? Through Lack Of Arms To Fight The Foe: We Had No Arms Or Merely Lawful Ones, An Unimportant Sword And Blunderbuss, Against A Foe, Pollent In Potency, The Amasius, And Our Vixen Of A Wife. Well Then, How Culpably Do We Gird Loin And Once More Undertake The High Emprise, Unless We Load Ourselves This Second Time With Handsome Superfluity Of Arms, Since Better Say 'Too Much' Than 'Not Enough,' And 'Plus Non Vitiat,' Too Much Does No Harm, Except In Mathematics, Sages Say. Gather Instruction From The Parable! At First We Are Advised 'A Lad Hath Here 'Seven Barley Loaves And Two Small Fishes: What 'Is That Among So Many?' Aptly Asked: But Put That Question Twice And, Quite As Apt The Answer Is 'Fragments, Twelve Baskets Full!' And, While We Speak Of Superabundance, Fling A Word By The Way To Fools That Cast Their Flout On Guido 'Punishment Exceeds Offence: 'You Might Be Just But You Were Cruel Too!' If So You Stigmatise The Stern And Strict, Still, He Is Not Without Excuse May Plead Transgression Of His Mandate, Over-Zeal O' The Part Of His Companions: All He Craved Was, They Should Fray The Faces Of The Three: Solummodo Fassus Est, He Owns No More, Dedisse Mandatum, Than That He Desired, Ad Sfrisiandum, Dicam, That They Hack And Hew, I' The Customary Phrase, His Wife, Uxorem Tantum, And No Harm Beside. If His Instructions Then Be Misconceived, Nay, Disobeyed, Impute You Blame To Him? Cite Me No Panicollus To The Point, As Adverse! Oh, I Quite Expect His Case How Certain Noble Youths Of Sicily Having Good Reason To Mistrust Their Wives, Killed Them And Were Absolved In Consequence: While Others Who Had Gone Beyond The Need By Mutilation Of The Paramour (So Galba In The Horatian Satire Grieved) These Were Condemned To The Galleys, As For Guilt Exceeding Simple Murder Of A Wife. But Why? Because Of Ugliness, And Not Cruelty, In The Said Revenge, I Trow! Ex Causa Abscissionis Partium; Quia Nempe Id Facientes Reputantur Natur' Inimici, Man Revolts Against Such As The Natural Enemy. Pray, Grant To One Who Meant To Slit The Nose And Slash The Cheek And Slur The Mouth, At Most, A Somewhat More Humane Award Than These! Objectum Funditus Corruit, Flat You Fall, My Fisc! I Waste No Kick On You But Pass. Third Aggravation: That Our Act Was Done Not In The Public Street, Where Safety Lies, Not In The Bye-Place, Caution May Avoid, Wood, Cavern, Desert, Spots Contrived For Crime, But In The Very House, Home, Nook And Nest, O' The Victims, Murdered In Their Dwelling-Place, In Domo Ac Habitatione Propria, Where All Presumably Is Peace And Joy. The Spider, Crime, Pronounce We Twice A Pest When, Creeping From Congenial Cottage, She Taketh Hold With Her Hands, To Horrify His Household More, I' The Palace Of The King. All Three Were Housed And Safe And Confident. Moreover, The Permission That Our Wife Should Have At Length Domum Pro Carcere, Her Own Abode In Place Of Prison Why, We Ourselves Granted, By Our Other Self And Proxy Paolo: Did We Make Such Grant, Meaning A Lure? Elude The Vigilance O' The Jailor, Lead Her To Commodious Death, While We Ostensibly Relented? Ay, Just So Did We, Nor Otherwise, My Fisc! Is Vengeance Lawful? We Demand Our Right, But Find It Will Be Questioned Or Refused By Jailor, Turnkey, Hangdog, What Know We? Pray, How Is It We Should Conduct Ourselves? To Gain Our Private Right Break Public Peace, Do You Bid Us? Trouble Order With Our Broils? Endanger . . . Shall I Shrink To Own . . . Ourselves? Who Want No Broken Head Nor Bloody Nose (While Busied Slitting Noses, Breaking Heads) From The First Tipstaff Shall Please Interfere! Nam Quicquid Sit, For Howsoever It Be An De Consensu Nostro, If With Leave Or Not, A Monasterio, From The Nuns, Educta Esset, She Had Been Led Forth, Potuimus Id Dissimulare, We May Well Have Granted Leave In Pure Pretence, Ut Aditum Habere, That Thereby An Entry We Might Compass, A Free Move Potuissemus, To Her Easy Death, Ad Eam Occidendam. Privacy O' The Hearth, And Sanctitude Of Home, Say You? Would You Give Man'S Abode More Privilege Than God'S? For In The Churches Where He Dwells, In Quibus Assistit Regum Rex, By Means Of His Essence, Per Essentiam, All The Same, Et Nihilominus, Therein, In Eis, Ex Justa Via Delinquens, Whoso Dares To Take A Liberty On Ground Enough, Is Pardoned, Excusatur: That'S Our Case Delinquent Through Befitting Cause. You Hold, To Punish A False Wife In Her Own House Is Graver Than, What Happens Every Day, To Hale A Debtor From His Hiding-Place In Church Protected By The Sacrament? To This Conclusion Have I Brought My Fisc? Foxes Have Holes, And Fowls O' The Air Their Nests; Praise You The Impiety That Follows, Fisc? Shall False Wife Yet Have Where To Lay Her Head? 'Contra Fiscum Definitum Est!' He'S Done, 'Surge Et Scribe,' Make A Note Of It! If I May Dally With Aquinas' Word. Or In The Death-Throe Does He Mutter Still? Fourth Aggravation, That We Changed Our Garb, And Rusticised Ourselves With Uncouth Hat, Rough Vest And Goatskin Wrappage; Murdered Thus Mutatione Vestium, In Disguise, Whereby Mere Murder Got Complexed With Wile, Turned Homicidium Ex Insidiis. Fisc, How Often Must I Round Thee In The Ears All Means Are Lawful To A Lawful End? Concede He Had The Right To Kill His Wife: The Count Indulged In A Travesty; Why? Deilla Ut Vindictam Sumeret, That On Her He Might Lawful Vengeance Take, Commodius, With More Ease, Et Tutius, And Safelier: Wants He Warrant For The Step? Read To Thy Profit How The Apostle Once For Ease And Safety, When Damascus Raged, Was Let Down In A Basket By The Wall, To 'Scape The Malice Of The Governor (Another Sort Of Governor Boasts Rome!) Many Are Of Opinion, Covered Close, Concealed With What Except That Very Cloak He Left Behind At Troas Afterward? I Shall Not Add A Syllable: Molinists May! Well, Have We More To Manage? Ay, Indeed! Fifth Aggravation, That Our Wife Reposed Sub Potestate Judicis, Beneath Protection Of The Judge, Her House Was Styled A Prison, And His Power Became Its Guard In Lieu Of Wall And Gate And Bolt And Bar. This A Tough Point, Shrewd, Redoubtable: Because We Have To Supplicate The Judge Shall Overlook Wrong Done The Judgment-Seat. Now, I Might Suffer My Own Nose Be Pulled, As Man But Then As Father . . . If The Fisc Touched One Hair Of My Boy Who Held My Hand In Confidence He Could Not Come To Harm Crossing The Corso, At My Own Desire, Going To See Those Bodies In The Church What Would You Say To That, Don Hyacinth? This Is The Sole And Single Knotty Point: For, Bid Tommati Blink His Interest, You Laud His Magnanimity The While: But Baulk Tommati'S Office, He Talks Big! 'My Predecessors In The Place, Those Sons 'O' The Prophets That May Hope Succeed Me Here, 'Shall I Diminish Their Prerogative? 'Count Guido Franceschini'S Honour! Well, 'Has The Governor Of Rome None?' You Perceive, The Cards Are All Against Us. Make A Push, Kick Over Table, As Our Gamesters Do! We, Do You Say, Encroach Upon The Rights, Deny The Omnipotence O' The Judge Forsooth? We, Who Have Only Been From First To Last Intent On That His Purpose Should Prevail, Nay, More, At Times, Anticipating Both At Risk Of A Rebuke? But Wait Awhile! Cannot We Lump This With The Sixth And Last Of The Aggravations That The Majesty O' The Sovereign Here Received A Wound, To-Wit, L'Sa Majestas, Since Our Violence Was Out Of Envy To The Course Of Law, In Odium Litis? We Cut Short Thereby Three Pending Suits, Promoted By Ourselves I' The Main, Which Worsens Crime, Accedit Ad Exasperationem Criminis! Yes, Here The Eruptive Wrath With Full Effect! How Did Not Indignation Chain My Tongue Could I Repel This Last, Worst Charge Of All! (There Is A Porcupine To Barbacue; Gigia Can Jug A Rabbit Well Enough, With Sour-Sweet Sauce And Pine-Pips; But, Good Lord, Suppose The Devil Instigate The Wench To Stew, Not Roast Him? Stew My Porcupine? If She Does, I Know Where His Quills Shall Stick! Come, I Must Go Myself And See To Things: I Cannot Stay Much Longer Stewing Here) Our Stomach . . . I Mean, Our Soul Is Stirred Within, And We Want Words. We Wounded Majesty? Fall Under Such A Censure, We, Who Yearned So Much That Majesty Dispel The Cloud And Shine On Us With Healing On Its Wings, We Prayed The Pope, Majestas' Very Self, To Anticipate A Little The Tardy Pack, Bell Us Forth Deep The Authoritative Bay Should Start The Beagles Into Sudden Yelp Unisonous, And, Gospel Leading Law, Grant There Assemble In Our Own Behoof A Congregation, A Particular Court, A Few Picked Friends Of Quality And Place, To Hear The Several Matters In Dispute, Causes Big, Little And Indifferent, Bred Of Our Marriage Like A Mushroom-Growth, All At Once (Can One Brush Off Such Too Soon?) And So With Laudable Dispatch Decide Whether We, In The Main (To Sink Detail) Were One The Church Should Hold Fast Or Let Go. 'What, Take The Credit From The Law?' You Ask? Indeed, We Did! Law Ducks To Gospel Here: Why Should Law Gain The Glory And Pronounce A Judgment Shall Immortalise The Pope? Yes: Our Self-Abnegating Policy Was Joab'S We Would Rouse Our David'S Sloth, Bid Him Encamp Against A City, Sack A Place Whereto Ourselves Had Long Laid Siege, Lest, Taking It At Last, It Take Our Name And Be Not Innocentinopolis. But No! The Modesty Was In Alarm, The Temperance Refused To Interfere, Returned Us Our Petition With The Word 'Ad Judices Suos,' 'Leave Him To His Judge!' As Who Should Say 'Why Trouble My Repose? 'Why Consult Peter In A Simple Case, 'Peter'S Wife'S Sister In Her Fever-Fit 'Might Solve As Readily As The Apostle'S Self? 'Are My Tribunals Posed By Aught So Plain? 'Hath Not My Court A Conscience? It Is Of Age, 'Ask It!' We Do Ask, But, Inspire Reply To The Court Thou Bidst Me Ask, As I Have Asked Oh Thou, Who Vigilantly Dost Attend To Even The Few, The Ineffectual Words Which Rise From This Our Low And Mundane Sphere Up To Thy Region Out Of Smoke And Noise, Seeking Corroboration From Thy Nod Who Art All Justice Which Means Mercy Too, In A Low Noisy Smoky World Like Ours Where Adam'S Sin Made Peccable His Seed! We Venerate The Father Of The Flock, Whose Last Faint Sands Of Life, The Frittered Gold, Fall Noiselessly, Yet All Too Fast, O' The Cone And Tapering Heap Of Those Collected Years, Never Have These Been Hurried In Their Flow, Though Justice Fain Would Jog Reluctant Arm, In Eagerness To Take The Forfeiture Of Guilty Life: Much Less Shall Mercy Sue In Vain That Thou Let Innocence Survive, Precipitate No Minim Of The Mass O' The All-So Precious Moments Of Thy Life, By Pushing Guido Into Death And Doom! (Our Cardinal Engages Read My Speech: They Say, The Pope Has One Half-Hour, In Twelve, Of Something Like A Moderate Return Of The Intellectuals, Never Much To Lose! If I Adroitly Plant This Passage There, The Fisc Will Find Himself Forestalled, I Think, Though He Stand, Beat Till The Old Ear-Drum Break! Ah, Boy Of My Own Bowels, Hyacinth, Wilt Ever Catch The Knack, Requite The Pains Of Poor Papa, Become Proficient Too I' The How And Why And When The Time To Laugh, The Time To Weep, The Time, Again, To Pray, And All The Times Prescribed By Holy Writ? Well, Well, We Fathers Can But Care, But Cast Our Bread Upon The Waters!) In A Word, These Secondary Charges Go To Ground, Since Secondary, So Superfluous, Motes Quite From The Main Point: We Did All And Some, Little And Much, Adjunct And Principal, Causa Honoris. Is There Such A Cause As The Sake Of Honour? By That Sole Test Try Our Action, Nor Demand It More Or Less, Because Of The Action'S Mode, We Merit Blame Or May-Be Deserve Praise. The Court Decides. Is The End Lawful? It Allows The Means: What We May Do We May With Safety Do, And What Means 'Safety' We Ourselves Must Judge. Put Case A Person Wrongs Me Past Dispute: If My Legitimate Vengeance Be A Blow, Mistrusting My Bare Arm Can Deal The Same, I Claim Co-Operation Of A Stick; Doubtful If Stick Be Tough, I Crave A Sword; Diffident Of Ability In Fence, I Fee A Friend, A Swordsman To Assist: Take One Who May Be Coward, Fool Or Knave Why Not Take Fifty? And If These Exceed I' The Due Degree Of Drubbing, Whom Accuse But The First Author Of The Aforesaid Wrong Who Put Poor Me To Such A World Of Pains? Surgery Would Have Just Excised A Wart; The Patient Made Such Pother, Struggled So That The Sharp Instrument Sliced Nose And All. Taunt Us Not That Our Friends Performed For Pay! For Us, Enough Were Simple Honour'S Sake: Give Country Clowns The Dirt They Comprehend, The Piece Of Gold! Our Reasons, Which Suffice Ourselves, Be Ours Alone; Our Piece Of Gold Be, To The Rustic, Reason And To Spare! We Must Translate Our Motives Like Our Speech Into The Lower Phrase That Suits The Sense O' The Limitedly Apprehensive. Let Each Level Have Its Language! Heaven Speaks First To The Angel, Then The Angel Tames The Word Down To The Ear Of Tobit: He, In Turn, Diminishes The Message To His Dog, And Finally That Dog Finds How The Flea (Which Else, Importunate, Might Check His Speed) Shall Learn Its Hunger Must Have Holiday, How Many Varied Sorts Of Language Here, Each Following Each With Pace To Match The Step, Haud Passibus 'Quis! Talking Of Which Flea Reminds Me I Must Put In Special Word For The Poor Humble Following, The Four Friends, Sicarii, Our Assassins In Your Charge. Ourselves Are Safe In Your Approval Now: Yet Must We Care For Our Companions, Plead The Cause O' The Poor, The Friends (Of Old-World Faith) Who Are In Tribulation For Our Sake. Pauperum Procurator Is My Style: I Stand Forth As The Poor Man'S Advocate: And When We Treat Of What Concerns The Poor, Et Cum Agatur De Pauperibus, In Bondage, Carceratis, For Their Sake, In Eorum Causis, Natural Piety, Pietas, Ever Ought To Win The Day, Triumphare Debet, Quia Ipsi Sunt, Because Those Very Paupers Constitute, Thesaurus Christi, All The Wealth Of Christ. Nevertheless I Shall Not Hold You Long With Multiplicity Of Proofs, Nor Burn Candle At Noon-Tide, Clarify The Clear. There Beams A Case Refulgent From Our Books Castrensis, Butringarius, Everywhere I Find It Burn To Dissipate The Dark. 'Tis This: A Husband Had A Friend, Which Friend Seemed To Him Over-Friendly With His Wife In Thought And Purpose, I Pretend No More. To Justify Suspicion Or Dispel, He Bids His Wife Make Show Of Giving Heed, Semblance Of Sympathy Propose, In Fine, A Secret Meeting In A Private Place. The Friend, Enticed Thus, Finds An Ambuscade, To-Wit, The Husband Posted With A Pack Of Other Friends, Who Fall Upon The First And Beat His Love And Life Out Both At Once. These Friends Were Brought To Question For Their Help. Law Ruled 'The Husband Being In The Right, 'Who Helped Him In The Right Can Scarce Be Wrong' Opinio, An Opinion Every Way, Multum Tenenda Cordi, Heart Should Hold! When The Inferiors Follow As Befits The Lead O' The Principal, They Change Their Name, And, Non Dicuntur, Are No Longer Called His Mandatories, Mandatorii, But Helpmates, Sed Auxiliatores; Since To That Degree Does Honour' Sake Lend Aid, Adeo Honoris Causa Est Efficax, That Not Alone, Non Solum, Does It Pour Itself Out, Se Diffundat, On Mere Friends, We Bring To Do Our Bidding Of This Sort, In Mandatorios Simplices, But Sucks Along With It In Wide And Generous Whirl, Sed Etiam Assassinii Qualitate Qualificatos, People Qualified By The Quality Of Assassination'S Self, Dare I Make Use Of Such Neologism, Ut Utar Verbo. Haste We To Conclude: Of The Other Points That Favour, Leave Some Few For Spreti; Such As The Delinquents' Youth: One Of Them Falls Short, By Some Months, Of Age Fit To Be Managed By The Gallows; Two May Plead Exemption From Our Law'S Award, Being Foreigners, Subjects Of The Granduke I Spare That Bone To Spreti And Reserve Myself The Juicier Breast Of Argument Flinging The Breast-Blade I' The Face O' The Fisc, Who Furnished Me The Tid-Bit: He Must Needs Play Off His Armoury And Rack The Clowns, And They, At Instance Of The Rack, Confessed All Four Unanimously Did Resolve, That Night O' The Murder, In Brief Minutes Snatched Behind The Back Of Guido As He Fled, That, Since He Had Not Kept His Promise, Paid The Money For The Murder On The Spot, And, Reaching Home Again, Might Even Ignore The Past Or Pay It In Improper Coin, They One And All Resolved, These Hopeful Friends, They Would Inaugurate The Morrow'S Light, Having Recruited Strength With Needful Rest, By Killing Guido As He Lay Asleep Pillowed By Wallet Which Contained Their Fee. I Thank The Fisc For Knowledge Of This Fact: What Fact Could Hope To Make More Manifest Their Rectitude, Guido'S Integrity? For Who Fails Recognise Apparent Here, That These Poor Rustics Bore No Envy, Hate, Malice Nor Yet Uncharitableness Against The People They Had Put To Death? In Them, Did Such An Act Reward Itself? All Done Was To Deserve Their Simple Pay, Obtain The Bread They Earned By Sweat Of Brow: Missing This Pay, They Missed Of Everything Hence Claimed It, Even At Expense Of Life To Their Own Lord, So Little Warped Were They By Prepossession, Such The Absolute Instinct Of Equity In Rustic Souls! While He The Count, The Cultivated Mind, He, Wholly Rapt In His Serene Regard Of Honour, As Who Contemplates The Sun And Hardly Minds What Tapers Blink Below, He, Dreaming Of No Argument For Death Except The Vengeance Worthy Noble Hearts, Would Be To Desecrate The Deed For