Were I A King In Very Truth, And Had A Son - A Guileless Youth - In Probable Succession; To Teach Him Patience, Teach Him Tact, How Promptly In A Fix To Act, He Should Adopt, In Point Of Fact, A Manager'S Profession. To That Condition He Should Stoop (Despite A Too Fond Mother), With Eight Or Ten "Stars" In His Troupe, All Jealous Of Each Other! Oh, The Man Who Can Rule A Theatrical Crew, Each Member A Genius (And Some Of Them Two), And Manage To Humour Them, Little And Great, Can Govern A Tuppenny-Ha'Penny State! Both A And B Rehearsal Slight - They Say They'll Be "All Right At Night" (They've Both To Go To School Yet); C In Each Act Must Change Her Dress, D Will Attempt To "Square The Press"; E Won't Play Romeo Unless His Grandmother Plays Juliet; F Claims All Hoydens As Her Rights (SHe's Played Them Thirty Seasons); And G Must Show Herself In Tights For Two Convincing Reasons - Two Very Well-Shaped Reasons! Oh, The Man Who Can Drive A Theatrical Team, With Wheelers And Leaders In Order Supreme, Can Govern And Rule, With A Wave Of His Fin, All Europe And Asia - With Ireland Thrown In!